Text Message 70

DOC talking to moms:

1st mom mahilig ka sa sweets, so u named your daughter CANDY,

2nd mom mahilig ka sa pera so you named your son PENNY

3rd mom tumayo, "Let's go D!CK bago tayo mainsulto dito!!"

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Guro: Class, sino gusto pumunta sa langit?

Lahat nagtaas ng kamay maliban kay Juan

Guro: Bakit Juan, ayaw mo bang pumunta sa langit?

Juann: Sabi kase ng nanay ko uwi agad ako... Gagabihin ba tayo???

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Mahirap Buhay ng babae...

Umaga - Laba damit

Tanghali - Sampay damit

Hapon - Tiklop damit

Hating gabi - hubad damit

Madaling araw - hanap damit

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Pulis : nakilala mo ba yung nang rape sa yo?

Girl : Hindi po eh..

Pulis : Bakit hindi mo nakilala?

Girl : eh kasi po, naka 69 po kami eh.

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Filipino Class:

guro: juan, magbigay ng pangungusap na may tayutay...
juan: ahem... "ang tatay ay nadapa...tayu tay! tayuuu tay!

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bisaya went to the US to have his penis checked. in the clinic, the bisaya pulled down his pants and exclaimed: SAKIT DOK!
the american doctor blurted out: SUCK IT YOURSELF!